Premarital Sex or Sex before marriage in Myanmar
Sex before marriage in Myanmar
Sex before marriage is a taboo in Myanmar society. Yes, this may sound funny to certain societies where sex is taken very casually, and it is not a big deal to have sex before marriage as long as you are up for it.
In Her Perspective
In true Myanmar culture, sex should be saved for marriage. Sex should be saved for a proper time and place - one’s marriage. Those who have sex before marriage are considered to be comitting a sin. Even though you love somebody, or you are engaged or you are sure of getting married with the same person in the future, having sex with them is considered unethical. Most Myanmars believe that sex is the most percious gift that should be given away on the night of your wedding. No earlier.
However, today’s modern myanmar society has somewhat forgotten or ignored about the old traditions and has become to accept sex before marriage. Sex is now considered to be an important part of love, and it seems ok to ask for sex from your partner even before marriage.
The Conclusion
For Buddhism, sex is something that should come from part of a caring and loving partnership and it is not a big deal if it’s premarital. Sex before marriage is allowed provided that the people involved are aware of the responsibilites and consequences of having sex. And for that reason, many Buddhists in Myanmar believe that it is better to wait to have sex until you are married, and are able to take care of the consequences.
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In any relationship, sex plays in very important role. What is the meaning of understanding each other without sex? How’s a relationship going to be strong without sex? Physical intimacy is very important for both partners.
If we make a survey on Burmese married women about their sex lives, if they can speak very openly without the influence of tradition, I believe that they will speak out about how their sex lives is soar and totally different with they expected before they get married. But it is too late for them.
Although we do agree that physical intimacy plays an important role in any loving relationship, sex should not be a necessity and it should not be demanded. Sure, everyone likes sex, but if a relationship is about sex and sex alone, it’s not worth being in one. There’re much more to a relationship than sex. That’s why those who don’t have a good sex life still hang around with their partners.
Girls say “making loveâ€, boys say “having sex†but it is only one thing that about “sexâ€
Girls see “sex is loveâ€, boys see “sex is sexâ€.
Yes, it is undeniable that there are many, many things than sex in a relationship but sex is necessity. For those who don’t have a good, healthy sex life, it can distort the relationship, in addition to that, it can give them ‘unexplainable angry’ on their partners. For the short term, it is not a big problem but for long term it is not a good thing for the couple. Yes, they will still hang around with their partners because they afraid what people will say if they leave their partners who are bad in the bed.
My point is that “premarital sex†is the way you can look for your ‘physical match’.
In line with Shwe Sin’s comment, it’s taking a first step in the wrong direction to think that sexual intercourse is a ‘gift’ to be bestowed on a husband from his wife. Sex is a mutual gift and is meant to give each other pleasure, to express your love to each other. The moment this equal exchange is overlooked, you start on the dangerous path of coercion and expectations that sexual intercourse is an obligation. On the contrary, sex within marriage that is not offered freely is marital rape. And many a married woman consent to sex thinking that it’s their duty, an inconvenience, or worse a painful and unpleasant experience.
Shwe Sin is right in that women should know that they are allowed to desire sexual pleasure - that having good, consensual sex is part of being a healthy person and being in a healthy relationship. Far more than just finding a ‘phsyical match,’ however, sexual experimentation can be the most important part in finding a partner (male or female) who will love and respect you in every the public sphere of your career and the private sphere of your home and personal lives, and seeks only to bring you happiness, and about whom you feel the same way.
I think the females have it on more harsh than the males in terms of premarital sex. If a female has sex prior to marriage, the society as well as the guy (future husband or whatever) will look down on the female. And things will become more tough on her (ie. lost of respect for her). It’s kinda sad actually. In this generation as well as the upcoming generations, yes…I guess premarital sex is supposedly more acceptable. But Myanmar has it much better than many other countries. I think the idea of saving sex until marriage is good in that you, yourself will be valued more. (I don’t know if you get what I’m trying to mean.) But it’s really a personal opinion - it depends on what you believe. I also think society shouldn’t be so harsh on females. It should be stressed on both male and female. It just seems that virginity is more valued from a female than from a male and I think that’s just wrong. It should be valued in both genders. I also agree with the 2 above me. If a fmale does enjoy sex, it shouldn’t be looked down upon as “Oh, she must not be a good person.” Why must a female have to cover up for what she likes if she does like it? Whatever.
OK girls, let me tell you one thing that “your body, including your virginity, belongs to you, not your future husband or society.†Even in the marriage, your husband doesn’t belong to your body. That’s why; there is a definition of “marital rapeâ€.
“Valueâ€, who sets your value? Boys? Friends? Society or yourself? How do you think about the value of divorced girls, widows? Do you think they have no value at all or their value is less than virgins?
You have to value yourself. In this point, you have to understand that your value doesn’t depend on your virginity. There are million things, beside the virginity, which boys are expecting and appreciating from girls, such as smart, charming, educated, cute, intellectual, good hearted, etc.. etc
If a boy who is too much focus on your virginity than your abilities, it is some thing wrong with him, may be a sexist or psycho or very narrow minded or too much possessive personality. If his love depends on your virginity, whether you are virgin or not, you should re-evaluate his love. Do you think that Burmese boys save their virginity for their future wives? No way.
It doesn’t mean that girls should be “slutsâ€. But if you are in relationship, you love your boyfriend, both of you want the pleasure of sex, who’s care? Go for it.
^You have too much passion on this issue, Shwe Sin. (lol) Anyway, I know what you mean but if you look back to the past and ignore this generation, you’d probably agree that a female’s worth had a lot to do with her virginity. Obviously, today is not back then and a girl’s virginity isn’t that much of a big deal no more. I didn’t exactly want to get into the nitty gritty of what I meant because I’ll probably disgust people on here. But really…how easy is it for a female to determine if a guy is a virgin or not? Not easy at all. But in terms of females, it’s usually easy to determine with some special exclusions here and there at times. Society will always place a rank on an individual no matter what. Everyone places a rank on everything and everyone. It doesn’t matter if the individual values his/herself highly or lowly because on the outside, people have already ranked them as bad as it sounds. It’s just people’s nature. It’s just like how the general population would prefer a Gucci bag instead of a Roxy purse.
BTW, in my first post, I was mainly focusing in reference to it being a taboo in Myanmar. It really would be nice if people did care a bit more instead of accepting sex more casually now that it’s seen as more acceptable. It’ll only make society worse in years to come. You’ll have more rapists and weird stuff in the society added to what we already have.
All in all, virginity is to each his or her own. It’s a personal choice.
I totally agree with you, Pepsi. But I believe that we, as a new Burmese generation, ought to fight against the old custom which is discriminating among the girls, base on this issue. I think we need to educate the Burmese society for the sake of our coming generation, for our sisters, our daughters, our granddaughters that society should respect the ‘women rights’.
Shwe Sin, do you happen to be a feminist? If you are, that’s awesome. I somewhat hold a lot of feminist values. =) The old custom is indeed discriminating against females. =/ I know it’s a new generation and all, but somehow, I think in ways it would be cool at the same time if the old custom were still practiced but having it be equal between males & females. Anyway, females should definintely be informed so that they could be open to things that may usually be looked down upon. I don’t want females to be afraid of opening up to things.
cont.) However, I think females need to caution themselves in terms of opening up to things, depending on the situation. Females have a lot more to loose than males and it’s a sad, but true fact.
Yes, it is the fact. But on the other hand, as long as we think females have a lot more to loose than males, we will loose.
I hope that this issue will not be an issue anymore when Burmese society accepts the single mom / dad culture OR when Burmese women become fully INDEPEDENT.
But we can not get these rights without a fight.
[definitely] but in regards to sex, females have a lot more to loose when it comes to unwanted pregancies. an oopsie can happen when it’s least expected. =/ as for everything else, females definitely should ‘fight’.
Hi, Girls, I really impress for your letters. You know, I am a man. Not a woman, not a gay, a real man. But I would like to agree with Shwe Sin. I would like to discuss that topic also. Some time we found some culture of our country is not fair. Women are in the back yard. I don’t usually look down upon woman. But I think that is upon that girl.
I agree with you about the topic of sex life is important. And as you say there is too many things more important than sex. As for me since I am a high school student I really don’t care about virginity. Impurity of a woman is not depending on her virginity. Just depend on her mind.
Value of a woman is not depending on her virginity. Just depend on hear ability. I am happy for your letter. Because I think many women should be like that and when they aged they can teach their Childs. After our generation so many woman and man are interesting in mind and ability. At that time our country will be improve.
You all are stupid enough to discuss this topic in this kind of web site. In my point of view having sex or make love what ever it is fucking right? then fucking means “fucking” and premarital fucking or after marriage fucking no one needs to tell anyone what to do or what you should do. You do as you like as you wish. Don’t do rubbish around OK.
Test myfunction comment
I just can’t agree with what(so call) Ei Ei said. We all need sex education. Dos and don’ts. Most important thing here is discuss with open minded and right altitude. If you don’t wanna read these kind of thing, please don’t visit here. One more thing, having sex or making love is more than fucking.. Unless you are animal. Please do not disturb when adult are discussing… Thanks…
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All guys, please answer my question. Do you ever sex with someone before married? That’s Point. For some it is not good to sex. But for other that’s really good. In my opinion, if you are sure about you marry him or her, do it if you want. Because after sex, the couple become one. That’s right in my experience. We love each other more after that. But should avoid everyday sex. And think about pregnant before sex. And the first time is very important for both. If you interest, i will tell later. Bye for now.
I also think that Ko Min is right. Having sex or making love is more than fucking. That’s right.
fuck u all
feeling of fucking is natural. no one can control it .but i want to advise u all, if u wish strongly in fucking by the time u do a maturevation, one or twice and make jack-off.
To sum up, I think
What is needed for Burmese is the systematic sex education not only for male and also for female. Everyone should know what is sex and how it concerns with a relationship. And every guy have to know the value , honesty, ability, etc which a girl can have except virginity. To do so, even they also have this kind of value.
I want to ask you all whether the size of the penis is matter or not.
I’m a boy. A real boy. I found in some books written by doctors it is not important. But, in some forums, they say it is the need. I’m not clear because I have no experience of making love. I think, the girl may know.
Please forgive if it is not concerned with this post.
fuck you all
I agree.. Shcools and medical staff need to educate people. Sex isn’t taboo.. nor dirty stuff to talk about. Kids need to be informed in proper ways.. virgin or not virgin.. is a choice of oneself! They need to learn how to deal with this nature thing and how to have safe sex.. when or where is all up to individual. Conclusion - sex should be enjoyable (in safer way), giving and taking between couples, not to be discriminated.. regardless of gender! Good day to ya’ll! xoxoxo
Allow me to drop some opinion. I agree with shwe sin and pepsi to allow fmale having sex prior to the marriage. But it supposed to be true under only one condition. Unlike what is going on nowaday, fmale should only give their body to the one they really love or sure to marry with. It doesn’t matter whether having it before or after sex, the main part is not to play around. Culture is so strict and slightly unfair on both genders. However, if we compare with other country people where culture is giving the freedom of sex life, you can see lots of problems always coming up relating to the sexual unfaithfulness. You can see there are more divorce rates and more lonely children across those countries. Not to blame them but to accept the psychologically truth since sex became a very usual things for them and no more taking importance role. Although myanmar culture is tight, it is not completely unacceptable on sex. But it is aimed to be just a reminder to have myanmar people safe married life. (Eg. Warning children not to play around with fire where fire is very useful and actually it got to be use when it needs. But too much and un-control use of fire will surely cost bad to the user).
Hein.. this is for you! Being sexually unfaithfulness is NOT only up to women! It takes two.. and in our society, rules always favors to men. It is VERY unfair on being a woman in this country. In increasing in divoce rates has something to do with a lot of factors.. lack of well informed in sexual education is one factor that we shouldn’t miss out! I’m awared that this is a very delicate issue to bring up in country like Burma. Good day to ya.. xoxoxo
It is enough for u all of beating around the bush, stop discussing, be frakly, why don’t we negotiate each other of having sex??? i mean, i m a boy, if any girls wanna make sex. then contact me. Isn’t that good???
just stop saying those non-sence
sorry, i forgot to post my email address for the one who wanna make sex with me
my email is freedomatsex@gmail.com
waiting for ur prompt reply
bye for now, i am sure i will check my mail consequenly,
I wanna fuck all girl.so contact my mail(moekyawthein@gmail.com)whenever OK?
fucking is so feel so good so you taste with me .
come and see with me .i want to fuck u.
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Sex…sex..sex…it is hard to hear but it feels so good when you touch it. I don’t know till yet why the girls are more stronger than boys.Why don’t girl to be ashame with that sex?.But if they become feel so strong,they are dead enough to go on again and again.Is it concern with mind or are they originally strong? I’m afraid of that girl to be my girlfriend. Girls are want to her men to go till her satisfied during having sex.If we don’t do her like that, they hate us or the circumstances between the lover may become worst and worst.
From my stand point of my sight, boys are so weak in this case when they start the beginning of sex. And I accept the words of shwe sin that the girls think of sex is love for them but not in boys. They think of sex is a sex until they don’t meet the girl who loves him so much. I think that the girl who is afraid of having sex are more stronger than the other girls when they have sex with their boyfriend in bed. All in all, most of the girls are liar of sex. That means girls are so good at pretending with sex. A few girls are treasure of sex who never feel that but she must know from A to Z. Girls, girls, girls… most of them are sleeping dragon,until the boys never wake them up. If the boys wake her evil strong sex up, they better prepare for their dead…….