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Photo: US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, left, leaves New York Presbyterian
What is the elusive thing called “Love” that everyone so desperately needs? Sometimes, we sort of like this girl because she is beautiful? Or the girl likes him because he is handsome? But this kind of “Cinderella Syndrome” when the girl is waiting on her Prince Charming is not real love. It is better known as “Infatuation”, and there is a vast difference between it and real love. Enumerated here below are the differences. Find out if you are really in love and not just infatuated.
In order to find out the difference in love vs infatuation, let us see what do they mean actually.
What is Infatuation?
Infatuation is a feeling; real love involves a commitment also. Infatuation is just love of emotion. Real love though, is love of devotion. Only the emotions are affected in infatuation, but in real love both the Emotions and Will are involved. Next, a person “fall into” infatuation, but “grows into” real love. Gentlemen, have you ever seen a girl who was so beautiful that you thought you’d faint? This is infatuation. It is based totally on physical attraction; Often you don’t know much in-depth about the person you so-called love. Thus infatuation is mostly biological.
Also remember; never tell a woman you love her, unless you are willing to marry her. Then, infatuation is basically selfish where real love is basically selfless. Infatuation is more interested in satisfying yourself and your “feelings” than it is in the other person.
Real love is primarily interested in the other person. It seeks to give instead of get. Love unselfishly seeks the highest good for the other person.
Lastly, infatuation is weakened by time and separation where real love is strengthened by time and separation. This does not mean that there will be no pain in separation. On the contrary, there is great pain in separation if you are truly in love.
What is Love?
Now you understand what infatuation is, let us now go on to discuss about Love.
- Love is Patient – The word translated “patient” means to wait patiently for the fulfillment of expectations. When you have difficulty dating this girl and she does not want to come out of her shell, if you truly love her, you will not complain and blame her, you must look at the situation from her point of view ? maybe she is having some problems which prevented her from coming out. You must react to it with patience and understanding. Have you ever met someone you liked so much that you wanted to push the relationship and make it progress faster? Sure you have! Love, however, Love is willing to give the relationship time to grow at a natural pace. It does not push but is willing to wait for the relationship to grow at a rate that is satisfactory to both parties.
- Love is Kind – Love seeks to encourage and build up on others. It respects the feelings and emotions of others. It finds its greatest satisfaction in making others happy, i.e. Compliment one another, magnify the other’s strength, Listen to one another. Pay close attention to what each of you has to say and make each other feel that what each says is important, etc.
- Love is not Jealous – Jealousy usually indicates an insecure and immature heart. Love wants the best for others, but jealousy is possessive. Jealous is reflected in the childish statement, “If he is going to talk to her, then he can just forget about me!” Often, one person wants to totally possess the other and to restrict her relationships with others.
- Love is not to Brag – Love is not a windbag and is not anxious to impress. Often, a guy will brag to a girl, trying to impress her so that she will like him. A truly great person, however, does not need to exalt himself. Others will exalt him.
- Love is not Arrogant - Love is not conceited, boastful, cocky or stuck up. Love, instead, is humble and has a servant attitude. Sometimes, a guy may come across to a girl with an “I can take you or leave you” attitude. His demeanor implies, “You ought to be thankful that somebody as neat as me is dating you”. Of course this is not love.
- Love always Covers – This word cover means to pass over in silence, to keep confidential. Love is patient with faults of others. It doesn’t criticize or broadcast to the world the faults of others. Love is present even when it knows the other is not perfect.
- Love always Perseveres – Love always stands its ground and holds out. It will outlast anything. It will even love on the face of unreturned love. Real love will last through all sorts of trials, tribulations and stresses.
- Love is not Provoked – This means that love has a long fuse. It does not become irritated and angry. It is not easily offended. Love does not seek its own. This is the heart of love. Love is other-centered not self-centered. Love says, “I love you, I want to give you.” Selfishness says, “I love you, I want you!”
- Love does not act Unbecomingly – This means that love does not behave disgracefully, dishonorably, or indecently. It does not embarrass others by its actions. It is characterized by tact and sensitivity. This also means that love should have good manners. Be sure to do little things like opening doors for your girl or offering her your arm when you walk together.
- Love is Forgiving – Lastly, this is a must for a successful love story. If a guy is not willing to forgive and forget when his girlfriend is only an hour late, he is not exhibiting love. Love doesn’t hold grudges when it has been wronged. It doesn’t remain resentful.